College Station, TX USA
micahdfrey@yahoo.com

How to raise a Narcissist

Seeking Justice. Loving Mercy Walking humbly with my God. Micah 6:8

How to raise a Narcissist

Imagine $1,500.00 a month allowance for a child.  Yesterday I grabbed a hot hour (longer than a minute) and watched good ol’ Dr. Phil.  The title of the show should have been “How to raise a narcissistic child” because the mother was doing a very fine job.  She moved herself out of the master bedroom so her son could have the bigger walk-in closet.  She worked 120 hours a week to support his spending habits.  Awesome son (Ronald) sat on Dr. Phil’s stage and treated his mother less than kind and demanded that his allowance be increased.  Good Lord Almighty!  I honestly wasn’t surprised.  Mom catered to his every whim, why wouldn’t he demand more?  It has been working for him all along.  His walk-in closet was packed full of Gucci, Burberry, Louis Vuitton and the like, most tags still attached.  He also made it very clear he never wears the same outfit twice, he either gives it away or trashes it!  He wanted his drip to be fresh.  Gotta love good ol’ Dr. Phil…he expressed the importance of a job and earning those luxuries instead of taking from his mother, but Ronald was clueless.  His only goal in the world was to portray himself rich to the world via social media.  He became concerned as Dr. Phil (and the audience) encouraged his momma to stop the payouts.  Dr. Phil labeled the son a taker and the mom a giver, which I agree with.  By the end of the show, I felt sorry for Mom.  Her son’s lack of love and respect was sad.

I wanted to cheer mom on in her efforts to learn how to make things different.   I wondered if the lifestyle would really change once they went home.  I imagined going home with mom and helping her follow through with Dr. Phil’s suggestions…removing everything from the master bedroom and moving his spoiled little smarty-self back to the smaller bedroom.  Cheer her on as she created an eBay account to sell all those luxurious items, so she could save up for a down payment on a house.  Help her bag up and donate the rest of his clothes, except two of everything, that’s all he is entitled to.  Dr. Phil said, “One to wear, while the other is being washed.”  I imagine her strong and brave while she cancelled his phone contract, unplugged his electronic devices and sold them.   The scene in my mind’s eye was beautiful.  Mom taking back control of her home, her life, HER MONEY!

As I continued to watch and hear this self-entitled monster child, I had little faith mom was strong enough.  I pray she is.  If she isn’t, her daughter will adopt her big brother’s ways and life will only continue to grow worse.

Its alarming.  Self-entitled children grow up with no respect for the world around them.  They are taught their needs and desires are THE most important.  I don’t think mom intended to raise her son like this, but she has.  He will become a narcissistic adult.  He will be the jerk in the office expecting the pay raise or promotion, not having earned it.  He will be difficult to work with, at best, if he ever gets a job!

Moral of the story…Be a strong parent.  Don’t allow your children to bully you, guilt you, or manipulate you into giving them more than they need or have earned.  Get a support system of other strong parents if needed.  Parenting is hard.  When you know better, you do better.  It’s on parents to raise responsible well-rounded children that grow up into amazing mature adults.  The world needs more givers and less takers.

 

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